LOL! Kate Moss I can see your boogers! Ha ha ha! Haven’t you ever heard of your pinky finger?
Man, you lucky you don’t ride the bus with me! You would get made fun of wicked bad! There’s one wicked ugly and dumb boy who makes people with boogers eat them! And then the bus driver yells and usually you cry cuz everyone laughs at you. The bus driver is fat too. Gross!
Hey noozies! Everywhere I go lately (the clubhouse, the basement, the kitchen for cookies) all I hear about is this guy, who’s name is Screech, or Dustin Diamond, or whatevah. At first I was like SOUND THE ALARM, (the alarm is my little sistah hitting a bucket with a wooden spoon), FAKE CELEBRITY! But then someone told me nuh-uh, it’s ok, he was once on a wicked kewl show called Saved by the Belding, or something. I saw a re-run once and thought it was luh-hame, but whatevah.
Anyway, what’s the deal, he made a new movie or something? With someone named Sanchez who I guess lives in a garbage dump or something cause he’s really dirty all the time?At first I though they meant Oscar the Grouch. But then why would Oscar the Grouch, who is awesome, do a new movie with Screech, who is wicked lame?
Whatevah. But I also heard Screech lost his house or something, so maybe he is hanging out with Oscar to learn a few pointers about living in trash cans. Whatevah. Sanchez or no Sanchez, I don’t think I’m gonna see this movie.
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DUH! Nobody wants to watch you try and play tennis like that, duh! Linds, you’re not even wearing a wicked kewl headband like ageisssi or anything, duh. And also, did you know, that your racket is like totes too small? Well it is, and nobody wants to see you play with it at all. For serious, why don’t you just do what you do best. Just “breathe,” or go cry to your mom who doesn’t really love you because your dad is in jail or whatever. Go Paris!
Oh mah Gawd, two down and like zero to go! Even I have more friends than Paris Hilton, and I don’t have to pay mine or find boys for them. And no one from the internet calls my friends when I lose my Sidekick either, because my Sidekick is two pieces of cardboard scotchtaped together with orange magic marker writing on it.
Paris, don’t you even read our website? Obviously your friends don’t, because they’re STILL eating spinach! I mean how dumb do you have to be? Can your friends even read? LOL. I mean, cause if they can’t I know a really kewl lady named Mrs. Livingston who can teach them…Only she teaches first grade in my town! PSYCH! LOL! No way Paris’s friends, no way.
Uh-oh. Noozies, sorry to have to break it to you, but that supah awesome dude from that totes wicked show died last night. It is NOT awesome.
What about Tapenga? Is she going to marry Sean now to help her forget the Boy who Met the World, but also to stay close to him by being with someone who was also close to the Boy who Met the World?
Still alive. Dead.
Whoah! Another chapter in the super long book about how lame Spinach is! Jennifer Love Hewitt had to go to the hospital after eating Spinach! The worst part is, the doctor’s gave her the wrong medication! Check it out!
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Noozies, check out these pictures of Paris Hilton giving some gross homeless guy $100! Whatevah homeless guy, whatevah! Do you think you’re special because you know Paris Hilton or something? What did you have to do to get the $100, like, promise to give it back or something?
HEY, GROSS HOMELESS DUDE? THE CAMERA’S OVER HERE! What are you looking at, a half-eaten cheeseburger or something? Paris, I can’t beleive you gave this guy $100! I mean, he doesn’t even have a house! So where’s he gonna put whatever he buys? And I mean, you KNOW what he’s going to buy, right? Gawd Paris, do I have to spell it out for you?
There’s only one thing ANYBODY would buy if they had that kind of money, and you know it: