Oh mah gawd! We just received these photos from our Vietnam office of Maddox Jolie-Pitt outside a not cool Viet Cong jail! And worst of all, the word is that they have Suri Crooz trapped inside!
I thought this kid wasn’t even old enough to count to ten, but it turns out he is! He totally is! This is bad. It’s all Brad Pitt’s fault for giving him that dumb haircut. What is he, a punk rocker? What is he, Axl Rose or something? No, he’s not, he’s just a vietnam kid who kidnapped Suri Crooz. Maddox what do you want? Do you want them to take Mr. and Mrs. Smith off the shelves, cause they will! Do you want more juice boxes? Cause they will!
Where did he get that muffin? Seriously, where? Oh mah gawd, someone save Suri Crooz!