Whoa! Double WHOA! We just got word that our suspicious suspicions have been confirmed! Maddox and Shiloh DID make a speech at the United Nations today. Thanks to some awesome diggin’ we came up with this supah sweet bone! Check da transcript:
Maddox: Herro, and wercome, United Nations. Radies and Gentlemen, I have some terrible nooz. As you may know, I, and my Mom, and my sister here, are all cerebrities. And cerebrities everywhere are riving in fear.Radies and Gentlemen, fear, is bad. Because with fear comes a lack, of awesomeness. And awesomeness is what makes us cerebrities what we are. When we are without fear, and thereby, with awesomeness, things are, as one of our greatest cerebrities put it, “Totes, the best. For realz.” The rogic is simprle.
Spinach. It is in everything we cerebrities eat. It is one of the most awesome regetables there is. And now, we cannot eat it, because of one, totes rame fake-cerebrity: E. Cori. Just this past week, one of our most varuable prospects fell victim to E. Cori. I am sure you are all famiriar with Rindsay Rohan….
And so therefore I say to you, Why, United Nations, why? Prease, join togevah in sanctions against E. Cori, because as rong as we have E. Cori, we do not have spinach. And if we do not have spinach, than surery, it will not be rong before we are without cerebrities too…Shiroh, if you prease…
(at this point the United Nations was overcome with gasps as Shiloh Jolie projected a graph onto the wall of United Nations depicting the drastic fall in spinach and celebrity levels the higher the level of E. Coli rises. But then, for her part, Shiloh mainly sucked her thumb, and tugged on Maddox’s shorts, which were from Bugle Boy, and were by all accounts, pretty awesome.)
When Maddox walked off stage there was a silence so deafening you could cut it with a pair of safety scissors. Then there was a clap. And then another. And then an outpouring of tears and claps.
Kofi Annon put his fist to his heart, then to his head and then to the sky and said, “Seriously.”