Category Archives: Babies

BREAKING NOOZ: Maddox and Shiloh Deliver Speech to United Nations, Immediate Action Expected

Whoa! Double WHOA! We just got word that our suspicious suspicions have been confirmed! Maddox and Shiloh DID make a speech at the United Nations today. Thanks to some awesome diggin’ we came up with this supah sweet bone! Check da transcript: 

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Filed under Babies, Celebrities Rool!, Fake Celebrities, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Spinach Sucks, Terrorists, Vegetables

Maddox and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt Hate Spinach!

Whoah, this just in noozies! With all the celebrities getting sick due to their favorite vegetable and losah not-celebrity E. Coli, someone’s finally taking a stand! And they’re babies!

Maddox Jolie-Pitt and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt are teaming up this week and giving a speech at the United Nations about how lame spinach is and that it’s destroying all the celebrities like Lindsay Lohan. Oh mah gawd, this bring a teah to mah eye…

But wait, what about losah little sister Zahara? I mean what is she doing? Little sisters are wicked annoying, everyone knows that (especially ME). I’ll bet Zahara does something wicked dumb, like draws all over Maddox’s coloring books or cuts the hair off all my Barbies. We’ll keep you posted about what happens as Shiloh and Maddox give their speech later today and Zahara watches cartoons at home or whatevah.

spinach is gross!!!

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Filed under Babies, Fake Celebrities, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Spinach Sucks, Vegetables

ONGOING COVERAGE: Maddox and Suri Standoff

Tom Crooz and Angelina’s son, Maddox, known terrorist and kidnapper, totally called for a truce. Crooz said at a press conference, “About that whole thing, whatevah!” Then he leaned back in his chair and shrugged. Then he shared his sippy cup with Shiloh.

In exchange for a GI Joe and some donuts, Maddox flew Suri Crooz in a hot air balloon back to the United States.

How awesome is that! Now why can’t Tom  Cruise and Vince Vaughn just get over Chicago and start filming Ocean’s 15! Lets go Celebrities! Today is going to be a good day!

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Filed under Babies, Celebrities Rool!, Good Days, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Tom Crooz, Vince Vaughn

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Shouldn’t you be in Africa or Something?

While Angelina Jolie’s other kid is out kidnapping and terrorizing everyone, Shiloh might be just plain dumb. Look at her! What is wrong with you Shiloh? Do you have a case of the blooz or something? I mean, dood, you’re HUGGING Angelina Jolie, so like, whatevah! Shouldn’t you be in schoolright now? Are you dumb or something? What are you staring at?

Shiloh, I hate you, go away.

Close your mouth all the dumb baby drool is falling out. You are not awesome. No I will not babysit you! Why would I? I don’t babysit dumb babies. Whatevah, Shiloh, whatevah! God if they make me sit at the kid’s table with you I will be so mad.

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Filed under Babies, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt

Maddox Jolie-Pitt Joins Viet Cong, Kidnaps Suri Crooz!

Oh mah gawd! We just received these photos from our Vietnam office of Maddox Jolie-Pitt outside a not cool Viet Cong jail! And worst of all, the word is that they have Suri Crooz trapped inside!

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Filed under Babies, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Suri Crooz, Terrorists

Lindsay Lohan has a secret she wants to tell you about herself

BREAKING: One of our super scoopers (ruff!) just told us that Lindsay has been up to something fishy. Uh oh!

Ultra top secret footage below. For eyes only:

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Filed under Babies, Britney Spears, Fagina, Firecrotch, Lohan, Secrets (oooooh), Weirdos

Britney Spears Gives Birth to Awesome Celebrity Baby!

Whoah, awesome Mrs. Spears, or should I call you MOM, or should I call you Mrs. Spears, or should I call you Oops I did it again? I wonder if it hurt. They say she got a caesarian section. What is that? Like a salad or something?

My question is, if this baby has been born for like 12 hours, where the heck are the pictures? What’s with the delay? I don’t know, but you can be sure we’ll post them as soon as Britney mails them to us! Yuh, yuh-huh, that’s right we KNOW her. For realz!

We used our super computer to put together kevin federline and britney spears, and the super awesome celebrity computer is saying that this is probably what the baby will look like:

it's a boy!

Hooray for Britney!

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Filed under Babies, Britney Spears