Category Archives: Jessica Simpson

Someone Distract Jessica Simpson Quick!

Uh, hey, Jessica, look over here at this cereal, or whatevah, because FYI there is a big picture of you on the magazine on the other side of the rack. I mean, no, there’s not, why would I say that? Whatevah!

Jessica! I hear your fish calling, you need to come feed them quick! Don't look at the magazine!

What is she doing at a grocery store anyway? Why didn’t she make her little sister with the tupperware face Ashlee go for her? That’s what dumb little sisters are for, and beleive me, I KNOW.

And why is she wearing that ugly hat? Does that hat say L…A? What does that mean? “Lindsay Awesome”? Is she a fan of Lindsay Lohan? Whoah, I think so! Jessica, come sleep over this weekend! You can have the popcorn Kate Bosworth was gonna have! Only, wear a turtleneck or something, because your boobies are like planets and they’re scary.



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Filed under Jessica Simpson, Lohan, Sleepovers

Jessica Simpson Works at Pizza Hut Now???

Whoah! Jessica Simpson must be really poor or something after breaking up with Nick because now she works at Pizza Hut! Check it out!

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Filed under Fagina, Jessica Simpson