Oh mah Gawd, two down and like zero to go! Even I have more friends than Paris Hilton, and I don’t have to pay mine or find boys for them. And no one from the internet calls my friends when I lose my Sidekick either, because my Sidekick is two pieces of cardboard scotchtaped together with orange magic marker writing on it.
Paris, don’t you even read our website? Obviously your friends don’t, because they’re STILL eating spinach! I mean how dumb do you have to be? Can your friends even read? LOL. I mean, cause if they can’t I know a really kewl lady named Mrs. Livingston who can teach them…Only she teaches first grade in my town! PSYCH! LOL! No way Paris’s friends, no way.
Nope. She’s not! She thought about it and then decided, “Eh. Whatevah.” It only took her a second. Seriously. She was all, “Count up to a million. I’ll be gone longer than that.” And everyone else was like “Losah, nuh-uh” and she was like “you’ll see.” Then everyone shook their heads.
Her sister Nicky got so mad she called their moms and they were both grounded. So now its more like Paris is on a vacation. Which is waaaaaay cooler anyways, except she can’t buy any dogs or anything, so if this one dies, “It’s the last one.”
Did your neck throw up, Paris? J/k. I think it looks fine. Only, it looks a little like your neck threw up. But j/k, j/k.
FYI, its like she’s been on vacation forever almost. When asked when she would return she said, “Did you count to a million yet? You’re probably only on like 15 or something.”
SHUT UP PARIS!
Still up to the same stuff though:
[via Bollywood City via Radar via The Computer, Duh!]