Category Archives: Suri Crooz

Maddox Jolie-Pitt Joins Viet Cong, Kidnaps Suri Crooz!

Oh mah gawd! We just received these photos from our Vietnam office of Maddox Jolie-Pitt outside a not cool Viet Cong jail! And worst of all, the word is that they have Suri Crooz trapped inside!

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Filed under Babies, Maddox Jolie-Pitt, Suri Crooz, Terrorists

Suri Crooz, do you need my help?

Suri Crooz, what is your deal? Can you even talk yet or what? If so, you should call me. A lot people say your Dad is crazy, but he is also dangerous! I don’t think it is safe for you to live with them! What would he do, I mean what would he do if you guys were driving to like McDonald’s for a happy meal and this happened? oh mah god! My point is, Tom Crooz has a dangerous life! What are you supposed to do Suri? What are you supposed to do when Philip Seymour Hoffman tries to blow up your car and you don’t even know how to undo your baby seat? Tom Crooz, why?

Suri Crooz, call me before it’s too late!

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Filed under Scientologists, Suri Crooz, Tom Crooz, Weirdos

Suri Crooz, I know who you are!

Whoah dudes, I figured out the Tom Crooz mystery that has totes stumped even the best nooz hounds! Check it out!

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Filed under Fake Celebrities, Scientologists, Suri Crooz